The big 3-0!!!!

D turned 30! We celebrated in Denver watching Peyton Manning play (a check off his bucket list). It was cold, but a blast!!!!

8 years

Wow! Time sure flies. We celebrated our 8 year anniversary this past weekend. I surprised Derek with bronchos tickets for his 30th bday. My parents watched the kiddos and we headed to Denver. We went out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and enjoyed the fun city. The next day we woke up and were off to the game. I missed the kids terribly but knew they were in good hands,

New Years Eve

We spent New Years in Wyoming.  It reached -30 while we were there. Pretty crazy. Despite the cold the kids still had to do fireworks. So we bundled them up and they were able to shoot off a few roman candles and sparklers for all but 10 minutes. It was sooo cold!

the kids had a favorite house to look at lights, it was a farting santa. Nash would point to his butt and ask to go see it. 

confusing the tooth fairy

So kylee Jo has started losing her teeth. She lost one last week and one last night. Well for some reason the tooth fair forgot or got confused. She woke me up this morning at 630 and informed me that the tooth fairy didn't come.  I immediately sat up and said "are you sure? Did you check everywhere?" Well she's been falling asleep in our bed and then we carry her to hers. She put her tooth under her pillow and climbed into our bed. So I thought...ok go get your shoes on. She said "maybe its under yours mom since I fell asleep in there." I ran downstairs and got the dollar. I somehow scrambled and she came back with her shoes and she found her money under my pillow. She thought it was so hilarious that she confused the tooth fairy. Whew...nice save...

Temple square 2014

Christmas 2014

Christmas was wonderful as always, we stayed home in provo. It snowed a ton on Christmas Day which was beautiful. We played in it a few times throughout the day. Kylee jo got a new guitar and she is quickly learning all sorts of songs and loving it. Nash of course got tractors. It was very enjoyable.

we had so much fun driving through provo looking at christmas lights

Gratitude

I have seen trials in peoples lives lately that make my heart hurt. A few of these people are close to me and a few I have come across randomly. But through each of these times where I have been able to help in some way, whether it be through prayer, watching kids, or just a listening ear; I have learned and grown in my own way and in my own trials. I am so grateful for MY trials. They are mine, just for me, and the Lord knows what I need, he also knows what I can handle. I am extremely grateful for the relationship I have with my heavenly father. He gives me comfort when I need comfort, he gives me hope, grace, and love. But above all he gives me the ability to be happy and have a family that complete me. I have gotten down on my knees and prayed for these people in my life to have comfort. Praying specifically for them and their circumstances. By doing this I have grown in more ways than I thought I could. But heavenly father hears my prayers. He knows my heart, he knows their heart. It is interesting at times when we pray, we are praying for ourselves, what we need, what we are grateful for. But when we shift to someone else with more severe problems it gives us strength and comfort.
Through graduate school and a mix of postpartum, I have had an internal struggle with anxiety. And the more I research and read about it, and come across people, the more I find how common it is. I know that my trials will be a help to me but also probably a help to others in my life. I have quotes in my house and in various places that I want to be reminded of when I read this in a few years. Here are some of the words I have used for inspiration and have helped me over the last 2 years:

"The tests of life are tailored for our own best interests, and all will face the burdens best suited to their own mortal experience. In the end we will realize that God is merciful as well as just and all the rules are fair. We can be reassured that our challenges will be the ones that we needed, and conquering them will bring blessings we could have received in no other way." (Elder Holland)

"In preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face "depletion depression", make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all. So slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we oat assuredly will take time later on to be ill." (Elder Holland)

"The pleasures of the body can become an obsession for some; so too can the attention we give to our outward appearance. Sometimes there is a selfish excess of exercising, dieting, makeovers, and spending money on the latest fashions. I am troubled by the practice of extreme makeovers. Happiness comes from accepting the bodies we have been given as divine gifts and enhancing our natural attributes, not for remaking our bodies after the image of the world." (Susan W Tanner)

Time out for women "I am a duck" by sandra turley

"use your gifts faithfully, and they shall be enraged; practice what you know, and you shall attain to higher knowledge."

D &C 103:36

"As I serve my love increases for others and my own problems decrease in seriousness as i think of their problems. The selfishness in my life is slowly peeled away."

"You could be in one of the best seasons of your life right now, but you're not enjoying it because your focused on the burden. See the gift in what you have right now."

Jacob 3:1

"You are pleasing God inspire of your shortcomings."

"Acknowledge and face your weaknesses but don't be immobilized by them. Becomes some of them will be your companions until you part this life."